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Lots of cis heterosexual men write to me everyday showing their support and they even tend to apologise in the name of all of them.

They tell me things like these:

“I’m ashamed of my kind, sorry. Men are shit”

“I have acknowledged that I wasn’t actually a good boyfriend”

“My mother and sisters are feminists and they’re teaching me to be a better man”

“I support your cause. I’m an educated man. I’m 54 I have traveled the world in all its extend and I can assure you that feminism is making the progress we all need. There is no social justice without feminism”

We all have watched the Gillette ad by now, right?

I spent a couple of hours reading comments in the internet when the ad came out and all the toxicity was there. All the toxic masculinity’s characteristics we keep pointing as terrible were there disguised as offended costumers.

What is toxic masculinity? Well, many things. But one for sure: a narrow perspective. I read “feminists are trying to pathologize masculinity in ways that are profoundly harmful to the existential sense of self of young men”

How did he came out with such nonsense, I’ll never understand.

We are fucking tired of saying it all the time, we want a revolution. The biggest one, being treated like humans with the same rights and opportunities. Don’t treat us like shit. Don’t fucking rape us. Don’t kill us.

We want to be the generation that doesn’t associate love with pain.

Men are not the problem, toxic masculinity is. The system is the problem.

Men are subjected to the patriarchal order too and it’s painful for them, yes.

It’s painful when they have to constantly compete and act a certain way to be considered a man. When they reach a certain age and must stop having feelings to be validated. The male driven society teaches boys that hate and violence are accepted and even expected from them. It’s terrible.

“Some beliefs of toxic masculinity is that:

-interactions between men and women always has to be competitive and not cooperative.

-men can never truly understand women and that men and women can never just be friends.

-That REAL men need to be strong and that showing emotion is a sign of weakness… unless it’s anger, that is considered okay.

-The idea that men can never be victims of abuse and talking about it is shameful.

-The idea that REAL men always want sex and are ready for it at any time.

-The idea that violence is the answer to everything and that REAL men solve their problems through violence.

-The idea that men could never be single parents and that men shouldn’t be very interactive in their children’s learning and development and that men should always be the dominant one in the relationship or else he’s a “Cuck.”

-The idea that any interest in a range of things that are strictly considered feminine would be an emasculation of a guy.

Guy: A Real Man doesn’t stay home and take care of his kids while his wife works. You’re a cuck.”

Source: urbandictionary.com

So, to all our allies reading…use your position of power to speak up and end the toxic masculinity. Just say something when you witness any kind of abuse to women or non binaries, get involved. Call out your friends when they are being assholes, engage in real talks and start questioning all your privileges.

Buying a shirt from a feminist woman artist it’s also a good idea 🙂

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